I've seen you run through the nearby business parking lots during the noon hour. I admire your willingness to get all disgusting and sweaty while the rest of your coworkers are downing a Big Mac and Large Fries or the freshest sandwich at Holiday's deli counter.
But, we must talk about your shorts. Really, we must. They are too short. Goofy short. Speedo short. Diaper short. You obviously care about your health and maybe very little about your appearance. But for the sake of the poor fast food eaters, the drivers exiting the car wash, the moms in minivans who watch way too much "What Not to Wear", you must stop the insanity.
You remind me of this guy from Reno 911. Yes, he looks goofy. Now picture your face pasted on his body. And a mom in a minivan watching you.
Icky. Now go change!
Sincerely,
Sappho
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