Note to Self, Re: Reading Labels

Dear Self,

I am happy you allow yourself to create original, wearable art for your children. After all, this idea of art being worn is the premise upon which you've based your (now sleeping but soon to be re-awakened) business.

However, when you've expended time, effort and materials to transform a plain, white pair of sneakers into sparkly fun footwear, you must pause before declaring them finished in a cloud of spray enamel. Had you done so, you would have preserved your "flames-racing-from-heel-to-burning-toe" design (in shades of red, fuchsia, neon orange, yellow, all done upon a base of shimmering gold) as originally intended.

A moment of pause, complete with reading the can in adequate light, would have allowed you to say "Oh, my, no. This will not do". You would have thought: "I've mistakenly picked up the high gloss blue enamel spray paint!" You would have concluded: "If I quickly spray this blue paint upon my carefully painted design, it will turn from sparkly fun to oddly, cloudy, oh-that's-so-nice-how-you-dabble-with-paint-but-don't-quit-your-day-job muddy blue." Then you would have attempted to compensate for the one-shoe-blue and one-shoe-not by turning both into previously described canvas.

But you didn't pause. You didn't read in adequate light. You did mistakenly spray one shoe. Realizing your error, you tried to pretend this was artistic and sprayed the other. Then the other. Then back to the first, until shoes and hands were thoroughly blued. Although your five-year-old will be happy to receive the shoes, they are not the best representation of your abilities. See illustration below:


You have my permission to think these self-pitying thoughts and castigate yourself for one more day until getting over the whole mess and moving into another personal "crisis".

Please remember to be more careful in future.

Sincerely,

Myself